Life isn’t a cake walk. As much as we’d all like it to be. It is all about practice and overcoming obstacles while reaching for our goals. Never stagnate, keep moving. Doing this together makes it easier. WE.
WEcan do things that Ialone cannot. Is there an alternative to grumbling over our obstacles and towards our goals? Painstakingly and struggling…? Because, honestly, this doesn’t work. Can we instead frolic and skip merrily over them? Together? 😉
This is a simple lesson on Tweeking (not Twerking) your week towards your goals by practicing “Progress not Perfection”… Together.
Try NEW BEHAVIOR. Set Goals or Objectives for the week.
We’d all like to be the perfect “Handler of Affairs” in all cases. However, as we are human, this is never going to happen. All we can do is our best and attempt to learn from past errors. If something hasn’t worked for us in the past. It is in fact the definition of insanity to…
“Do the same thing over and over again expecting different results”.
What New Behavior?
Take a good look at what makes you feel good. Exercise, eating broccoli, studying, cleaning your house, meeting with friends… every one is different though here we recommend to: Eat well, exercise, sleep, and connect with others. Simple. If these simple things are hard for you… our solution is to PRACTICE TOGETHER.
God didn’t surround us with others so we could constantly be at each others throats, but rather… to work together. To help each other. So use the people that are in your life to help!
Make a list of the things you would like to have accomplished by Friday. It might be a list of “Things to Do” or “Ways you’d like to feel”. What are your weeks objectives? What steps do you need to take to make them happen? Obviously making the list alone is going to achieve nothing. ACTION IS KEY. After you have written you realistic list, share them with a friend, a partner. Ask them to do the same and to share it with you. You will help each other. Begin to take small simple steps towards reaching your goals. Baby steps. When it gets tough or you struggle… reach out to your partner! When you are making progress… celebrate it! SMILE about it. INTERNALIZE the content and accomplished feeling of reaching for what you want.
DO NOT EVER: JUDGE YOURSELF, TALK NEGATIVELY TO YOURSELF, OR GIVE UP. Keep trying. Remember our aim this week is to practice “Progress not Perfection”…Together.
My personal goals for the week:
Maintain daily meditation and asana practice.
Write a few hours each day, with 3 finalized solid pieces to show for it.
Finish a secret Christmas present project.
Eat one giant salad everyday for lunch.
Take Haddie ,our dog, for a walk everyday (despite the flooding).
Meet with three different friends for coffee.
Done.
Ross, will you be my partner and practice “Progress not Perfection” with me? 😉
Make your lists and get a partner! Enjoy everyone!
Two years ago today, we all woke up to a different world. Katie left us.
This year, in reflection… I don’t know really what to say. I still feel the gapping hole in my life where she used to fill it with trips to get coffee, getting our hair done (her doing my hair), BBQs, walks around town, shopping, talking about our life dreams and ambitions…plotting. Lots of plotting. I simply miss her in my life.
As I prepare for my wedding in January, it is even more clear that she is really gone. She would have been my maid of honor and been right by my side as we make the “big” decisions (accessories, color scheme, the guy to marry)… I’m really missing her. I always miss her.
For anyone that knew her, I imagine we all do.
There are have been times recently, where I just blurt out to someone when discussing the wedding or talking about dear friends, “Yeah, my best friend died”… it comes out cold and awkward and I’m left with the chill of inappropriateness. At those moments, it just doesn’t seem real and I’m ashamed of myself. How could I possibly talk about it so openly? Like it should stay hidden inside and kept secret. But thats not right either. Then there are the times alone in my room, when I look at her photo watching over me, and just at that moment, her song is on and I can so clearly feel her with me. Tears stream down my face and at those moments, I understand. And it is real.
This week, I find myself back home in Denver. I have been cleaning out my closets and going through old things. Getting ready for our next move and a trip to Mexico to make final wedding preparations. In the midst of this process, I ran across many old photos of high school, and of her. I’m going to share them. We can all think of her fondly and send her lots of love vibes…
We love you Katie!
My earliest memories of Katie take place at Paris on the Plat coffee shop in downtown Denver. One of our favorite places to go late night with some pens and paper. There we would write and drink coffee in a haze of smoke and whispers. The ambiance of that place seemed to set us free. The Waffle House on south Broadway was her staple. She even worked there at one point, embellishing that lost poet part of her. Katie was a poet, a beautiful, dark, poet. Ironic considering the lightness and joy she brought to those around her. Perhaps she kept her ghosts for the paper.
At 16 we were already troubled souls, desperate to find an answer for the loss we felt with our own existence. We found temporary solace in many places, the healthiest of which being the pen. She in particular had an incredible ability to shine her heart out regardless of what was going on inside it. Through her pen, through her voice, her laugh, her smile, her tears, her eyes… She expressed herself profoundly.
At 18 Sarah, Katie and I, all three vibrant Scorpios who often discussed our supernatural connection, decided to go to Boulder on a whim. We all 3 got a tattoo based off of a Ute North American Indian rock art symbol meaning“meandering spirit”. I had seen it in a museum gift shop painted on a rock when I was a child and it always stuck with me. Katie and Sarah were my meandering spirit sisters. Katie more then any of us always seemed to have her toe barely touching the earth while the rest of her floated around above waiting to let go altogether. After high school it became clear as we globe trotted in search of purpose, possibility, and ultimately happiness…that our existential angst ran deeper than the average suburban teenager. The struggle with addiction and the loss of self were key contributors to the paths we all ended up taking down the road of destiny. It makes total sense to me that she is gone… I hate that she is gone, but have to accept it. Knowing in my core that she is in a better place and finally at peace, makes it easier for me to accept.
I miss her incredibly; there were so many parts to her that were simply unique to Katie. As those that knew her can all agree, her laugh, her smile, her open heart were irreplaceable. She was the funniest person I ever knew and starting from the time we became friends at 14 in biology class, when the four of us girls, Kelly, Maggie, Katie and I were split up to the four corners of the room because we simply could not stop laughing, mostly because of Katie. Laughter. Jokes. Lightheartedness. Truly amazing. She had the ability to give impressions of other people, totally spontaneous and they would leave everyone hysterical. My favorite was her impression of Will Ferrell imitating Harey Carey, saying,” If the moon were made of cheese, would you eat it? I know I sure would.”
Katie was generous beyond measure, and a total diva. I don’t think any one was more fashionable in high school and beyond then Katie. She had a flare that was uniquely hers and inspiring. She showed me how to accessorize according to individuality and with confidence. She could pull off many looks, which others could not, short hair, long hair, blonde hair, red hair… jeans, boots, high heels, flats… She matched what she was feeling with her clothes. I’ll always picture her with short blood red nails; light brown hair pulled up into her high pony tail (volleyball style) with her voluminous bangs… Her bright eyes glittering, jeans, a t-shirt, with some funky golden Romanesque sandles and a huge purse filled with everything but the kitchen sink, perhaps even a small dog? Her lime green Volkswagen bug buzzing around Littleton. Diva indeed.
Two years ago today Katie surprisingly left behind many people who loved her dearly, and that she loved dearly; her many friends, her parents, her brothers, her sister. I know we have all found it difficult to have an open space where she used to be. Of course we have to try to find a reason for why she’s gone. The obvious message being that we have to live to the fullest, to be grateful for the life we have, and mostly to make the most out of the time we have with those we love. I personally have found comfort in pledging to be more lighthearted, to smile more, and to carry her in spirit so that she lives on. Perhaps I’ll add on the extra accessory, some clanging bangles or eye shadow I know she would approve of. The red nails and dark lipstick. It’s at these times that I know she isn’t far away.
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Tears. Stream down my face with Gratitude. Oh what a trip this has been. Seriously… The time of my life. Thanks to the things I have learned and done during these few months, I genuinely feel I have more love in me. It feels…good.
Sadly, this portion of the journey is ending. So, to Uganda, Tanzania, The United Kingdom, and Sweden…Goodbye.
I wanted to give a proper goodbye to this pivotal time and take a moment to reflect on the highlights. Simply put… I fell in Love. Well, I fell into deeper love, and that is all that life is about… I believe.
I fell in love with my family, I fell in love with Irene, and Ross, and myself. My chest just feels swollen with happiness.
It is hard not being able to HOLD on to these things forever, they are simply times, places and experiences that are fleeting, but oh how beautiful have they been.
Highlights:
In Uganda… This girl… Irene… oh man…. tears. I fell in love with her brightness, her love, the miracle of her being. Gratitude. I feel so blessed to have had these moments with her, though it pains deeply to not be close to her now, I smile at the fact that she is my little Irene… 😉
The wall. My sweat and blood went into this mosaic on the back wall of the church at Musana… 2 months of creative energy pouring into it, I discovered a deeper understanding of myself, my own capabilities and the beauty of my unwavering faith that things will turn out alright in the end. This wall… it helped me love more things about about myself, and that is beautiful.
Andrea my next youngest sister got married to the gorgeous Haril at Sippi Falls in Uganda. What an experience for our family. We were all together on the other side of the globe and it was spectacular. We laughed, and played, and honestly… the time of a life time.
Handstand… I’m not there yet, but the fact that this started happening is a big personal…yay!
Friends unite. During this trip we met up with so many different friends, spending time with them and catching up. What a blessing it has been.
And Ross.
This picture was taken of us in Scotland and I love it because, we are happy, playing, and it is gorgeous… we are enjoying the time together but separate, and loving the environment. During these last few months, I have really fallen more in love with him as we have learned to be together, while taking in the experiences as our own.
So… Wow. We are getting on the plane in a few hours and this chapter is officially closing.
I am going to put all the memories and moments into my pocket and take them with me wherever we end up going, whatever we end up doing. They have helped me to grow more into the person I want to be. Full of love… Though what comes next is unknown to us…I am not scared. It is a blank page and it is wonderful. Hello Love, hello future…
Taozi Tree Yoga is so proud to present… a special guest post…
STRUCTURED IMPROV: Part 2~ Faraaz Tanveer
AIR/ Anahata:
To love is to pay attention. If you love something/ someone, you pay attention to them. Meditation is a way of learning various ways of loving oneself. Different ways in which I can pay undivided attention to what’s going on inside and thus be deeply in love with myself.
In my opinion, the ubiquitous presence of the stereotypical image of a great master sitting still and cross legged does more harm than good. It diverts attention towards the outer form and gives a misleading impression that everyone should meditate in only THIS way. Silent sitting may be the culmination point of a more active process for some people and a starting point for some others. You may prefer a more dynamic form of ‘moving meditation’ or have a preference for chanting or breathing exercises or just sitting silently. Traditionally in India meditation is always based on initiation by a master and the practice given by him/ her is as per the student’s nature and inclination. Bespoke and private.
Meditation, like love, is an ambiguous term. Any technique that helps in integrating and focusing one’s energies and turning them inwards can be termed as meditative. Try out different styles and then choose the one that appeals to you most. My own practice has been ‘traditional ‘ chanting and breath & body awareness . Then recently I came across ’5 Rhythms’ – a form of dancing meditation and loved it!! There is certainly value in sticking to a path once you have made a choice to allow for more depth but at the same time I find that my regular, disciplined practice gains from the freedom I allow myself in exploring new avenues as well.
Everyone can benefit by adopting meditative practices into their lives. Just like going for a brisk walk every day is beneficial , so is taking 15 minutes in the morning to sit silently and observe one’s breathing. Then one may decide to jog, get good running shoes and maybe even participate in half marathons every now and then. Similarly, one can graduate to a more regular meditative practice and attend workshops, retreats and community groups on a regular basis. Then there are those who want to run on a competitive level. They will be advised to join a training school and regulate their diet & lifestyle accordingly. Similarly, if a certain style of meditation really appeals to you, you may decide to go deeper and have dedicated, long term training under a certain lineage and also regulate your lifestyle and other practices to support it. Finally, some amongst us would be interested in and suited for international competitions and make it a life’s work. This required mentoring from an experienced coach and long hours of carefully structured training. Similarly, those who want to delve deeper into the realms of meditation and want to make it the central focus of their life will do well to find a master who can provide guidance and support. Meditation is not competitive, but I guess you get the message that I am trying to convey! No effort in this direction goes waste. Even a small ste bears fruit and points one inwards.
Then there are some people who claim that, “ You don’t need to DO anything. You already are IT! …” and so on. I agree with the philosophical premise but also like to point out the fact that it is not helpful for most people. These days there is an influx of young ‘advaita’ teachers who talk for hours in workshops and write long articles about how useless the whole process of putting ‘effort’ is. This line of thinking also seem to subtly imply that the ‘practitioners’ amongst us are somehow spiritually inferior . If someone really ‘gets’ the ‘no effort – already is’ logic, that’s it! I would expect that person to have a much richer and deeper, moment-to-moment experience of life. But what I often come across are people stuck in the inertia of mental gymnastics, endlessly wrestling with abstract concepts and trying to fit them into the jigsaw puzzle of their personal spiritual philosophy.
Gyana yoga ( Yoga of knowledge) is just one of the paths among many that are suggested by the traditional systems. Even within this format, contemplation that leads to a deeper, non verbal awareness is the goal. So watch out when you find yourself slipping into intelligent and cool sounding abstractions which don’t make any difference to your day to day, moment-to-moment living. There is value in these words but also a danger of keeping us trapped in ‘head trips’.
SPACE/ Vishuddhi:
We often talk of the importance of expression and sharing. I also believe that I gain a lot from genuine, heartfelt and creative communication. This is a point that doesn’t need any extra emphasis. What I want to draw your attention to is the limitations and pitfalls inherent in the process of communication. In my experience, just like there is , “ Lost in translation”, there is also a very real, “ Lost in communication”. The moment you decide to communicate an experience by codifying it with words, some of its original richness and uniqueness is lost. This is especially true for emotions and feelings.
Don’t be in a hurry to describe and capture your experience during your practice. Allow some time to just experience it. You don’t always have to answer the question, “ How am I feeling?”. You ARE feeling it. That’s enough. In my experience, when physical and emotional feelings are given the space to express themselves and to be experienced fully, they lead to deep insight and direct action. As soon as I bring in the filter of language and mind,, they seem to lose some of their vitality and transforming potential.
This is one of the reasons why in the traditional yogic system the students are advised to keep their personal practice private and to only discuss its details with their Guru/ teacher. You are encouraged to share the merits of the practice with others but discouraged from gossiping/ boasting about the details of the experiences. Now I can see the value of this advise.
This chakra also represents creative expression. In terms of creative ideas, I recently came up with a flowing, moving meditation sequence that is derived from the Ashtanga Vinyasa Sun Salutation A and the movements in the Namaz, the Muslim traditional prayer. These are the two most popular vinyasa sequences in the world, so I thought why not combine them! Most students loved it while it didn’t do a lot for some. That’s the best that you can expect for any creative idea, so I was happy!
I also like working with combining principles of Tai Chi and Reiki with Yoga. And new ways of structuring classes, like the Chakra based Yin sequence that I’ve been sharing for the last few months. I think once the basic principles have been understood,, there is a lot of room for creativity. Creative breadth and creative depth.
One of my ideas that I would like to materialize some day is a vision for a Mysore style practice studio that offers asana, movement, energy work and meditation. This is how I would like to run my studio, if/ when I do so in the future.
This place works on a membership model. Every new member gets a one-on-one consultation with the teacher, who assesses their goals and requirements and gives them an initial set of practices, spanning asana, breath work, energy work and/ or meditation. All members come in during the ‘self practice’ time slots ( morning and evening). Teachers are available at hand to supervise, adjust and support. The class starts and ends with a group prayer and chant. For rest of the time, all students are on their mats, doing their own thing. There are mid-morning slots available where members can drop in any time while the teachers do their self practice in the same room. There is a review one to one session for the members every month.
Having a set sequence makes Ashtanga Vinyasa Mysore style classes easier to conduct, but I am sure it can still be done with a varied set of practices. The image of a community of practitioners, doing varied self practice sessions in the same room and supporting each other with their presence is very beautiful and powerful to me. Also, since it is not a set sequence, there is no comparison or competition. We all come together, start and finish together, while working as per our own nature and capacities. This is real structured improv.!
There are some led classes on weekends, when walk in students can have a taste of what is on offer. Also, internally, teachers can work out a loose framework to help them decide how to use their individual strengths to maximum effect and to ensure smooth progress for long term students. But corporate style sterile ‘consistency’ is neither a goal nor desirable. This system will invariably be influenced by the individual styles of the teachers. It will also foster deeper student-teacher relationships.
I am sure there are ways in which this idea can be refined. If any of you would like to work along these lines, please go ahead and make it happen! I would be happy to brainstorm and give my inputs if required, but I don’t expect to be involved. My main concern is with the materialization of the idea, not with WHO does it! I think this is a concept whose time has come.
LIGHT/ Aagya:
One of the main intuitive insights for me recently has been the realization that opposites can simultaneously be true. Free will and determinism. Unity and duality. Activity and receptivity. And that truth lies in the space that contains both.
If waves in the ocean represent our individual selves and various other forms in the ocean of existence, does a wave have free will? YES, from a wave’s point of view. It moves around ‘interacting’ with other waves, influencing and being influenced by the whole system. And NO, from the point of view of the ocean. There is just ONE movement in this moment, being expressed in the form of many waves. The very existence of a wave as a separate entity is in question here, so the question of free will doesn’t even come up. Which view is correct? Both. Which view is wrong? Both. What is the truth? It is the space that contains both ‘views’. Which view is more helpful in improving the quality of my life? Relatively, depends on the situation. Ultimately, neither.
So instead of trying to find definitive answers to existential questions, I like to stay with the questions themselves. Sometimes that gives me a glimpse ( for lack of a better word) of the space that contains the questions and ‘answers’. That, for me, is the real answer to all such questions. Such insights bring about lasting transformation, even without aiming for one.
***This has been a special guest post by Faraaz Tanveer. He was one of my yoga teachers at Rishikesh Yog Peeth, in Rishikesh, India, in November-December 2012. He is truly an amazing teacher, so full of wisdom. Thank you so much for your thoughtfulness in this post!
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